“How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord…” Psalm 84:1
My husband is away in another state, attending to the needs of his family. My children are out for the evening, busy with various activities. The evening is mine. Dinner eaten and dogs fed, my heart is hungry to hear from God. As a dear and wise woman I know has called it, I am longing for some “Sacred Solitude.” A time alone to speak with and listen to the One I love, to sit in His presence, and surrender my heart to His beautiful plan.
My house is quiet, and I settle into my unmade bed (remember I said my husband is in another state!) with my bible, a pen, a journal, and my devotional. Finding the first passage I read;
“I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” Psalm 139:14
The devotional says, “Acknowledge your Creator,” and I do, but all at once my frustration pours from my lips and I tell Him, “Lord, I am feeling an absence of your presence. I am feeling concerned about my struggle with….” and my ramblings continue covering a range of topics, many devoted to my inadequacies and discouragement. I know that He hears, but suddenly I realize it is time to quiet myself, and listen…
In the quietness, He begins to remind me of why I am here, and I write in my journal, “Every interaction a representation of Your love.” Then my thoughts are transported to the remembrance of every celebration of the past two years that has taken place in my home, and with my family. I see weddings, and birthdays, holidays and family gatherings just because we could. Board games, and meals cooked, gifts given and hearts opened. Two years of gatherings, two years of a family being birthed; a season of celebration, building, and of rejoicing, and I understand that all along He has been working out His plan, and using my days to answer not only the prayers of my mouth, but the cry of my heart.
Peace floods through my heart and my mind, and the realization of His presence ongoing in my life literally delights me.
I have always been a better speaker than a listener, and I continue to seek the assistance of the Holy Spirit to change me, so that I can listen fully to others. It is a work in progress, and I am grateful that when it comes to my conversations with my Father, He is patient and waits until I get a clue, and come to an understanding that it is time to open my heart, and stop and listen.
Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts."
~ Mother Teresa
Truly, how wonderful is Your presence, and how gracious you are to let me dwell with You daily. Help me to come before you with a heart ready to listen. I offer you all that I am, trusting that You, my amazing Creator, will use me for just exactly the beautiful plans you designed me for.