“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.” Psalm 62:5
A little frazzled tonight…I suppose that is the logical cause and effect of a fifty year old returning to college. It is a peaceful sort of tired: the kind that comes when you have simply used your day to the best of your own frail abilities, and rather than worrying it to death, you simply let go, bite the head off a gingerbread man left over from the holidays and give it a good soak in a cup of steaming tea.
I am letting go.
I read today something that made perfect sense to me, and I hope I will remember it in the days to come. Days that will be brimming over with home-schooling, and chauffeuring to ballet, and fittings for point shoes, intertwined with my own courageous bouts with my college texts, writing, reading, cleaning a toilet or two, and prayer. I cannot forget to pray! And then there is making time to love and appreciate those around me; starting with the ones who have to live with me day in and day out.
What I read went something like this:
God is His infinite wisdom designed day, and He designed night. He designed them to encompass a total of twenty-four hours. No more, no less. Having designed them as such His express intent must have been that they would be enough. Enough…He also designed each of us, and gave us day and night with the knowledge that as we lived our lives in harmony with His design and desires for us, the day would fit to us, like a well- made garment. We could wear it well, and it would look good on us. Only when we try to “wear” something that is not expressly designed for us, will we feel weighed down, and as if we have been given too much.
As I write, I am reminded of David as he went out to fight the giant Goliath. King Saul tried to give David armor that belonged to him, but the armor was designed for the king, and was much too large for David. Though it was skillfully fashioned, it was made for another man, and would have only hindered the young shepherd as he faced the enemy. It was too much, while his rocks, his sling, and his faith in the Lord were enough.
I only need enough.
You made the day for man, not man for the day, and you told us to trust You, and not to worry. I am trusting You. It is, and I am beginning to realize, always has been, enough. For this I greatly praise You. You are enough.
I am at rest.